Self Care  + Single Mom = Happy Mom

“Dear Diary,

Coming across any debate about domestic violence via the media has never bothered me, really. It seemed a fictional and cheap tactic for attention seekers until recently. I witnessed two bitter scenarios myself. A beautiful (literally a vogue model who has stepped out of the pages), highly qualified working with a reputable firm, and mom of 3, was brutally beaten. Only her sobs forced me to intervene in her personal matters. It was only when she vented that all men from her native land love to hit their women that I bit my lip and recalled when the other day I was comforting this working lady. This time, from another heritage with a much stronger background but the reason was verbal abuse by the spouse.

The penetrating abuses I heard were no less than the bruises that I just witnessed. Either way, it was domestic violence, physical or verbal, that we guiltlessly lend a deaf ear to. No female chauvinist I am, but NO reason can validate this dishonour to any human. It’s in no way justified. If these strong women from elites have failed miserably today, then what to comment on women who are financially dependent on men? God knows what insecurities these creepy men have. Sigh!”

Above mentioned extracts are from the pages of my Diary some six years ago. I am still in touch with these women of steel, as must say, that are discussed above. They have moved on gracefully, bidding farewell to their harsh past as single moms. I have seen them evolve beautifully as single moms as they prioritize themselves unapologetically. After all, healthy parents can ensure the proper nurturing of their children. But, on the other hand, a single mom with worrisome mental and physical health might let her children breed in a complex environment detrimental to their health.

Following are some tried and tested ways how a person who has survived narcissistic abuse in the past can start afresh with life, in our case, how single moms can rise again!

Listen to your body:

It’s ok to cry and vent when you feel like it. But, trust me, it will make you feel lighter. After all, you are gearing up to be resilient and bouncing back to life. Enduring many years of a toxic relationship of physical and mental abuse and replacing it with positive thoughts and me time is a slow and steady journey but indeed ensures success in future life.

Self Love

Know your worth and practice self-care. You should value yourself as much as you can care about others and give love to anyone. When you’re feeling particularly lousy, try to make yourself a priority. This includes inculcating practices of physical wellness including good sleep, meditation,  going for a walk, and having me time by arranging a babysitter for your child. It also means reaching out to your friends for a cup of coffee, a good laugh, or merely a shoulder to cry on if the past haunts you. It’s ok. You will feel lightened and will rise again with strength.

Cherish your independence

Allowing the person you once cared for to make your own decisions didn’t do any good as they continued to exploit you. It’s the bitter truth. The good news is that now you are in charge of not

letting them regain power over you. Make peace with yourself and your past. Look into avenues for self-discovery. Choose to stay away from negative people as they will make you feel like you’re not good enough, can undermine your self-esteem, and make you want to withdraw.

And last but not least, believe in yourself and cherish the gifts of children you have. They are your strength and not your hurdle to move on with the glorious life. Your past cannot be erased, but the qualities it brings out in the person are comparable to a precious diamond, once a worthless rock. After all, there is the light at the end of the tunnel? Don’t shy away from getting any professional help or a support group. Don’t let the pain of the past, the burden of the present, or fear of the future haunt you for the rest of your life. Prioritize yourself!

Check out our podcast for more information about SelfCare-Tips for a ME-Time:

The Circle of MA aims to bring hope and light to the community members who have experienced domestic violence/abuse and live with troubling memories. 

We offer a haven for single moms to unleash their strength. With our true stories and inspirational Podcasts, we provide a space for moms to connect. Please reach out to us  if you want to share your story to empower other audience who is thriving through their moment of journey.

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