When covid struck and you were in lurch stuck at home? Well, you were not alone. Here is a bitter sweet Confession of a Covid Edition Mom!
Dear Diary,
“So here I am back after 15 years to pen my thoughts or, let’s say, a channel for my catharsis. I look back at the years that just flew by in the blink of an eye. With bittersweet memories from marriage to pregnancy to quitting a job, diapering, pregnancy 2, moving continents and what not. Boy, what a joy ride!
Finally, I have reached the stage in life when age hits fabulous 40. I can now cherish the status of a relaxed homemaker. Having no stress about work-life balance and cherry on top, I can now watch my teens move ahead with their pace in life. Ah, what a glorious, rosy life!
While I can’t stop thanking God for the blissful life, I just can’t hold back from spilling the beans too. The tussle going at the back of my mind must be the dreaded midlife crisis! I miss the messy home, cooking multiple times, acting an umpire, off and on hugs. What more? wet kisses and running to bus stops. There, I said it. I miss being the ‘mommy in demand’ I once was before the kids all grew up.
I missed it all until the pandemic struck. Then came the lockdown. While the entire world witnessed recession and losses, the only sector that saw the glory once again was ‘motherhood.’ I can’t speak for all. Still, yes, when I talk to other moms in the same boat as me with kids in tweens and teens, I can sense how proudly they boast of being the household nucleus yet once again.The covid edition mom was there to shine now!
Most watched channel on our TV screens
But then, we moms have always been at the forefront. Right? It’s probably that children grow up fast, and no matter how brutal the reality might strike, they learn to be independent and don’t rely on your bedtime snuggles, home-packed snacks for recess and heart-to-heart talk.
The depression of the pandemic and lockdown triggered me too. With screaming, allocating chores and missing significantly on my ‘me time,’ I gradually started to look at the positive perspective. Time can never remain still as it has now. This is the moment to recollect all the childhood memories with my grown-up babies. It meant more co-sleeping, late-night peek through family secrets that I dreaded ever to disclose and confiding our fears of the virus with each other. The list goes on: watching the craziest of movies, having a mammoth heart watch ‘not that rightly’ rated shows with them and cooking and baking together, which meant let go of the clean kitchen.
For once, I enjoyed waking up to a messy living room and stumbling on the LEGO pieces. Jenga, bop it/twists it, Pictionary, Ludo, and Blokus, still seemed excited after playing 100th time. The time out with friends was replaced by indoor tent and tunnel making, wrestling, Nerf hit and run, and all that imagination could make use of the infinite free time. I wanted to live this moment. My son served quesadillas for dinner, and my daughter wanted to upload all the cringiest duo tik-toks with me!
Yes, we moved Lego in the living room for good! Kids even made a Lego den for the pet ant.. boredom at its peak!
I doubt I would have ever enjoyed this quality time in the regular vacations. Maybe it was the fear of the unknown that kept the bond so strong. A blessing in disguise, as I told my children. To view that we are together, safe, and healthy as ‘gratitude’ whenever one of them started to bicker for the cancelled vacation plan or merely not to step out.
Always wake up to a messy kitchen, courtesy: kids culinary skills. As long it keeps them busy. sigh!
I hope and know that a better and safe time is coming ahead, and so do my insecurities of an ‘Empty Nest Syndrome.’ But it’s ok, and I know life has to move on. I am glad the past year gave me ample opportunity to reflect on myself too in a manner I never delved into before. Children must start with School and friends, basketball practices, and the busy routine that the ‘normal life’ demands. I am sure I will always be there for them but can’t always capitalize and wait for their free time. So, I am setting my goals for my well-being too. I am all ready to embrace everyday life by giving space and dreaming big for myself. Hugs to the Covid Edition mom out there. Just hang in there!! ”
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